Friendship Day Musings

Just look back at your own life...

We have had friends at every stage of life. We hold onto the ones who were comforting at each stage. Starting from our school, college, tuition classes, neighbours, common friends, online friends, we feel comfort in various people whom we call friends, close friends, best friends and so on. We share a part of our life, dreams, goals, happiness and sorrow with them. 

At each of these new phases, we grow internally and our thought process keeps changing with time. With every such new phase, there will be a change. Sometimes you lose touch with the ones who you have always been around, sometimes your friends feel you have changed, sometimes you feel you don't fit in to the gang anymore, sometimes each of you realise that you are looking at life very differently, sometimes you drift away, sometimes you are aliented and maybe with time, you don't talk to each other anymore.

Does it mean it was a mistake and the friendship has no value? No way. These were the same people who comforted us at different points in time in our life and the ones we shared a part of our life with. We may not talk anymore or share stories from our everyday life but that doesn't mean anything negative. Sometimes our role in a friendship could be to stay away and look at the other person's life, just wishing them good. 

With all this, you still have few people whom you can call even after a year without any contact and you still start from where you had spoken last time. There are some people who stay with you in all ups and downs like a family. There are some people whom you think of whenever you have something to share, either happiness or sorrows. There are some people who put in that effort to be with you(and you must do too). There are some people whom you always prefer as your comfort in all weathers and all years to come. These are the ones who would stay. 

We need to realise that in every phase of growth, people do change and change is important. Friendship is about helping the other person stay authentic and themselves without a need to change or hold back. Friendship is not about fitting in, it is being free without any judgements. Friendship is being for each other when they need you the most. In order to find good friends, we need to be 'that good friend.'

It is important to treasure every friendships. Some might chose to stay afar and be happy for you, some might be with you in every milestone but everyone had played a role in your life till date. This one is for everyone who has played their role in mine. Happy Friendship day :)

Meditation

Today, I wanted to share something personal with a hope that it could help someone.

A year before, same time my mind was a battlefield of thoughts and emotions...

A year later now, I am a much calmer and a peaceful individual who knows what to feed the mind and what not to.

What helped in this process of being more mindful and calmer is #meditationpractice .

Being an over thinker always, it has always been difficult to not get too involved in something. A lot of self evaluation by going deeper down has helped me process my thoughts better.

Now when I face a challenging situation, I just ask myself this one question:
👉Is this under my control? If yes, what can I do about it? If no, why do I have to think about this? Let me surrender it to the Universe.

Being an overthinker, earlier my mind would think of multiple negative possibilities even before it happening. Now I try and think what's the worst possible thing that could happen and try and make peace with it (Zerodha's Nithin Kamath's strategy)

Once you make peace with the outcomes in your mind, you are better off to face real challenges when it happens in the physical world. Conquering mind is the challenge always.

Meditation has helped me process things slowly, be an ever grateful human being, more mindful in my duties and responsibilities and even worry lesser.

My intentions at work has been strengthened in this process and I find more solutions to business problems because I am in a position to think and not get swayed away without time.

Every day before starting my day, I visualize how my day could be, what all new opportunities can come in, how do I better my intentions at work, how do we add more value to clients, what do I intend to attract more and more etc.

Just the thoughts in the right direction creates the motion required from Universe is what I believe.

I hope this helps someone who is looking for some light in difficult times. Hold on and continue to hope :)

#meditation #life

Two years to the first time we met :)

All my life, I had my thoughts on the kind of relationship I want to be in and the person I want to share my life with. In the search for such a person in an arranged marriage scenario, I was quite clear on whom I did not want. Knowing what you do not want is the first step in meeting whom you really want to spend life with. 

I had my notions in an arranged marriage that I would need to really meet the person multiple times to take things forward. I had said it to a few people I was talking to in the process, that I will need a lot of time to be really 'sure.' All these changed miraculously when I met Ashika. April 3rd, 2021 we started texting and April 10th we met for the first time. The first meet was so peaceful and beautiful. The first date went on for 4.5 hours and by the end of it, something had changed. 

She had made up her mind after that date. I took some more time bugging her, asking her the right questions, discussing on the non negotiables, talking over weekend for 6 hours straight and smiling all through texting her from office. We did not meet again. It was the second wave of COVID and more importantly there was no need to meet again. The decision was made. I proposed to her on May 9th, 2021.  The next time we met was on the day our parents met to discuss about the marriage. 

So when the right person comes in, a lot of things change. We met just once before saying yes and that one date did it all. 

Two years to the first time we met :)

30 Years of Life

 

As I write this birthday post, I bid goodbye to my late twenties and hit thirty. As I look back on the way birthdays were a few years ago and the way birthdays are now, it has changed. Earlier birthdays were so fast, meeting so many people and having a jam-packed schedule throughout the day and coming back home by 11. Now birthdays have been days where you get to talk to some special people and catch up on life, take in all the amazing birthday wishes pouring in on various platforms, spend time with loved ones and ending it with birthday musings.

As I reflect back on 30 years of my life, I feel blessed for everything that has happened in my life, every life experience (be it good or bad), every person who has come into my life for a clear reason. 30 years seem like a construction shell which shall make sense only after it is completed. These have been the foundational steps for a bigger picture and I am excited to explore what's in store for me. As much as I know my life's purpose, putting it in action someday and living a life towards it is what excites me every single day. Having said all these, it is always about being in the right place at the right time and preparation of mind every single day to make it happen is what the journey is about.  

These 30 years have been about character building, good friendships, good relationships, strengthening the beliefs, finding the core values to live for, good adventures, fun and laughter and learning many things in this journey. I look forward to a new decade of growth, fun, laughter, happiness, satisfaction and peace. There is no destination. Its always the journey.

Cheers to Life,

Naveen S N

How far can you go for your own bag?

        It was 5.15 AM in the morning. The bus conductor shook me up from my sleep screaming 'Vijayawada' signalling that its time for me to leave. My long sleep which was interrupted took some time to come back to terms. I woke up with a neck pain due to wrong sleeping posture and that was hurting real bad. I took my laptop bag next to me and got down telling 'Thanks' to the driver as always. As soon as I got down, auto drivers started making a conversation on where to go and negotiated for the charges. Two to three drivers started talking to me and I was talking to them in koncham koncham telugu that I know and one person agreed to take me to my room for Rs.100 for exactly 1 km. I came to my room and checked in. I was planning on how I could sleep for 2 more hours before getting ready to start my day at the client place. Then it stuck me..... Was there any missing detail in what I just told?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

        Did I actually take my luggage in the bus? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. It was this shit moment when I suddenly realized how can I miss my luggage in the bus and check in to the room. Absolute stupidity, carelessness and irresponsible behavior. All this because I was feeling sleepy and got carried away talking to the auto drivers. I realized how stupid this is. It was 5.35 then. 20 minutes since I got down. I immediately ran to the reception saying what happened and pleading if they can help. We called the driver and there was no response. When we tracked the bus, it was already moving in National Highway towards Hyderabad. If the destination was Vijayawada, then it could have been very easy to go and get back the luggage. The bus was already moving very fast and there was no way to chase it like in movies and get your bag and the bus will not stop just for one stupid passenger making others wait. 'What to do?' was the question in my mind.

        The receptionist asked me to go to the travel office 2 kms from the place so that they can see how best they could help and helped me with an auto. I went to the travel's office and told them about my issue in broken telugu and mixing it with all languages I knew :P He at least understood the emotion behind it. He told the vehicle is already 30 kms far off from this place and is going to Hyderabad. The same vehicle shall come back in the night and then you can collect your luggage. I was here on an important audit review meeting and I was thinking on how can I go there in my T-shirt and track pant(the one I was wearing all night). I was like this is very important luggage and please help me. He gave back saying 'If something is so important, how can you even miss it?' I was in no way to explain why and how it happened especially with the broken telugu I knew, as constructing a sentence in mind could take more time than getting the luggage back :P I just made my puppy face.

        The receptionist called back and gave a brilliant idea to ask the driver to keep the luggage in the nearest hotel on the way and then we could go collect it from there. The travel guy asked the driver to do the same and he readily agreed and within 2 minutes gave a call back as to where and whom he is handing over the luggage to. The auto driver who accompanied me till the travel office readily declared that he will help me get the bag. By then the bag was placed in a place which was 40 kms from our place. There I was trusting this one guy I knew to go in an unknown direction to get my bag at 5.55 AM in the morning. How can I trust him when I have just met him? But then sometimes do you have any other option apart from trusting someone blindly and taking that leap of faith?

        I asked him if he is sure to drive 80kms just to help me get my bag and he said lets first go and then you can pay me whatever you want. Money was the last consideration then and we started. It was 6 AM and the morning lights started coming out and there were few vehicles on the street as he drove faster. He promised 40 minutes drive to reach the place. He moved fast, taking me to the outskirts of the city, took some detours, told me about few places in Vijayawada and then joined the National Highway. Whenever he was silent, I used to construct my next sentence to ask in Telugu so that it doesn't sound offensive. A simple 'nuvvu' instead of 'meeru'(respectfully) could make a lot of difference. The sun rose and the journey continued. By then it was a complete surrender to the process. All the thoughts of can I really trust this guy had slowly vanished and it was only about lets see how this goes. 

        6.45 AM. Somewhere in the outskirts of Vijayawada.

        Finally the hotel came and I was only hoping that this should now not be some other bag instead of mine. That's the worst thing that could happen to you after travelling such long and then......... 

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

        There I saw my blue color trolley with my name on it from the flight baggage tag and it was such a feel good moment. I wanted to kiss my bag at that very moment but then it would have been so inappropriate. The old lady asked me to confirm if I am the owner and I put the driver on conference to prove my ownership and after her due diligence and when she was satisfied, she asked me, "How can you miss your own luggage?" and then when I was about to make my puppy face, the auto driver told, "It sometimes happens when you are sleepy and you just feel laptop bag is the only luggage you have" and she smiled. We had tea there and then the journey back to the hotel started. The driver asked me if I was happy and I told him "Chaala chaala thanks anna" some multiple times which would have got him worried if I would really pay him or just tell thanks and say a bye :P

        It was 7.45 AM. As we came back to the same roads we started, the shops were still shut. But there was so much that happened in my mind in those 2 hours. I prayed God for everything that happened today morning. Anything could have happened and I could have got my luggage only in the night but I met some strangers who went above their limits and tried to help a stranger in the city for no real reason. It was not the duty of the receptionist or the bus driver or the auto driver's to help me out and everyone played their role. I was glad. Every adversity could lead to something so beautiful is what I thought. The auto driver got paid the exact amount he expected but with a lot of 'Chaala thanks anna' in between. I did get to take my bath and wear my formals for my meeting and the day started with a lot of bizarre adventure. It makes me tell sometimes your own stupidity takes you places :P

They say you cannot trust strangers in an unknown city and that's the only thing I had to do today....

Good day everyone

 

Loads of love,

Naveen Nagaraj

COVID-19 and Entrepreneurship: An honest confession

#Newyearpost

I was just thinking about how the last 2 years have been for us and everyone at large. 2020 and 2021 for everyone has been quite challenging and emotionally draining. Now if you narrow it down to entrepreneurs, the challenges faced were humungous. Every aspect of an organization has undergone a change. The world changed so fast these 2 years. Almost seems like a flash.

Now if you further narrow it down to entrepreneurs who have just started in these years or a year prior(like us), the way an entire functioning underwent a change has been too rapid and sometimes too overwhelming. Entrepreneurship runs purely on HOPE every single day. Things start moving in a particular direction and when things start going well, a COVID wave hits us and we are back to ground zero. Now we get up and gain the strength and move forward and another one hits us. This time we are at least aware but the hit is still a hit.

The same thing happens with the third wave now. There is so much anxiety and uncertainty everywhere YET AGAIN. But with all these, just like the graduate class of 2020/2021, I feel we entrepreneurs who have started our journey in these years have grown so much personally and professionally. No Crisis management lessons of MBA school can prepare you for something like this. Its a lot of effort emotionally to regain and rebuild and that's how life teaches us lessons and makes us stronger. We have lost, we have suffered and we have still gotten back to function and that's MORE important.

In the end, all these are just adding up to the stories you tell your close ones or your children on how we all together survived a major pandemic.

Find your #home

         I watched this heartwarming feel good movie #Home on Amazon Prime and more than just writing a review of the movie, I wanted to ponder upon few reflections in the movie. So, this post is definitely not a movie review but much more. This movie did make me think about a lot of aspects. The movie is about a family which was once closely stuck together loosens up with time and the generation gap created by the social media and how the father tries his best to bridge that gap between his children by wanting to be part of their digital world. 

        Simple story, isn't it? But the reflections which comes out of the movie without being preachy at anytime makes you think. What were mine?

• We all do this or have done this at some point in time in our day to day lives. When someone is talking to us, we are buried in our mobile either ignoring them completely or replying back to them looking at our phone(I have done this too). Now this is how the world has become. But how do we feel when we are on the receiving end? Do we like it? Is it really cool to do so? ENERGY. Everything we do has energy. When we are talking to someone, we are giving them time and more importantly we are giving them our energy. Can we do it more intentionally, being more aware and being there completely. Real human connections are made when we talk heartfully and when we listen intentionally. So the next time when someone talks to us, can we answer them looking them in their eye rather than looking at our screens?
• With social media and the so called influencers, we start defining indicators of our success to the number of followers, likes, comments etc and start measuring ours with a yardstick which is a utter bullshit. Its about comparing apples to oranges and it will always be. The real work happens behind the Instagram, behind those cool post workout selfies and the constant 5 AMs to hustle before those good morning posts. This is often not considered but the outputs are. This could lead to creating a entire generation of people who are never present in the moment anytime and that's dangerous.
• How beautiful it is to spend your morning coffee time or evening tea time talking to your own family? Why is it that we present our best selves to our bosses, clients, acquaintances and show our grumpy, angry, always irritated side to people who love us? Is it because we can be ourselves with them and feel home? Is it because they are our constants and we believe they would not leave? Have we not taken them for granted? Have we ever thought how do we look with that grumpy, angry, always irritated face of us from the receiving end? People do stupid things. They show their best side to the people whom they don't really care and show the worst side to people whom they really care. 
• From when has expressing your thoughts been considered weak? Was there a change in syllabus and this was inserted? We, human beings do some terrible mistakes. We love people and constantly make them feel like we don't. We fail to express to people on how we feel around them. We think people do live on forever for these talks when we really know that they do not. Our days are numbered and our time is limited and still we fail to express how we feel. Continuing this will lead to creation of an entire generation which lacks emotional quotient. Next time you find a team member working really well- appreciate them in public, next time you feel like thanking your spouse-thank them, next time you feel like telling an 'I love you' to your love out of nowhere-please do. There is never an auspicious time for all these. 
• As we grow, I have realized that the pursuit is less about the money, position, luxuries but it is about RELEVANCE. Being 'considered' relevant with time and being relevant among the people in your world becomes the biggest struggle to overcome. This is constant struggle be it any age but this struggle becomes more difficult as time passes. Will my son or daughter consider me relevant for their generation? Will I be able to adapt to the tech savvy next gen or will I be left behind? Will I still be able to understand the ever evolving businesses in my workplace and add value to the table? Will people continue to ask me suggestions or will they assume he is not worthy anymore? The struggle will be real and it will be about relevance. It makes me think about how we need to RE-INVENT ourselves at every stage of our life. At no stage of life will life settle down unless you choose to do so. We need to keep reinventing ourselves to stay current and relevant.  

Home is where the heart is and writing could be my home 😀 But if this blog post makes you get back to your own self or gets you closer to your home, that's what makes me the happier version. That's the intent and that's the goal always. Find your #Home in the world outside the virtual world. 

Love,

Naveen Nagaraj