Some Birthday Musings

Every birthday brings out the same excitement in me like years before when I was a kid waiting for October 11th to show up on the calendar. The excitement of the birthday has been a constant always and I hope it will stay for time to come. 

Birthdays are super special to me for the reason that this is one day I get to feel extra special about myself. This is one day where I get to connect and talk to so many special ones. The constant vibration of the phone for every message coming in and those beautiful conversations throughout the day makes it worth waiting for. 

Needless to forget those besties who take time out to make it extra special just by meeting that day. Birthdays make you feel so special about your existence on this planet. I just cherish the conversations on this day and this day can only be complete with wishes from all those special people.

This day also marks an year to this personal blog of mine. Live Life 360 Degrees is my Mantra for this life. I will continue to write about my life experiences, my thoughts, my reflections in this blog till I reach my very end. 

I will continue to share love, light and positivity because that's what I am; 'A Hopeless Optimist' Thank you so much for all the love and affection on this day. Thank you for reading this.

Indian Matchmaking-Busting the Generalizations

Its been quite some time writing here. There have been multiple thoughts running in my mind for quite sometime but never could write here. Every other piece found solace in my personal diary. Indian Matchmaking series on Netflix had invited so much debate on social media on the way it portrayed the concept of arranged marriages in India and there were so much discussions on the generalizations the show had. This post is not a review of the series but this one got me thinking. I have always been a thinker and there are so many thoughts I feel like sharing with the world. Human relationships have always been my personal favorites and it has never failed to fascinate me.

When I get to think about love, relationships, marriages, emotional attachments etc., the way I feel about them have matured with time. The way I was thinking about love at 21 is way different than how I feel about them at 27 now. As time passes and as life introduces you to various experiences, our perception keeps changing and refining. Few very important reflections which I strongly believe in are what I write down below: 

1) 'Being clear' is not equal to 'being stubborn' 

'Being clear' about the kind of life partner you need to spend your life with cannot be equated to 'being stubborn.' Being clear about the kind of life partner you need comes from a very deeper space inside where you are clear about the kind of person YOU are primarily. It is not superficial and is always towards foundational values. You can be clear about the basic values your partner must possess and that is for God's sake not too much to ask for.  

2) Taking time to decide the one is not 'missing the bus.'

Relationships are surely about accommodating. It could be about sacrificing that window seat for a lifetime, sharing your favorite chocolate forever, taking more photos of your partner than getting clicked or getting up early so that your partner is not skipping the breakfast, etc. These things are not easy and they do not happen overnight. They seem effortless only when you start liking the other person. Else it is a constant tug of war and a competition between each other. A relationship takes in time, effort and energy and it is ABSOLUTELY okay to take some time to decide. 

3) Right person is not about 'Yeh best profile hai...'

Many a times we are striving to meet that right person to share life with. But maybe it does not work like that. The key is about striving to 'be the right person' for the other. It is about creating a cozy space for the other one so that the person who comes in gets to see the better version of YOU. More importantly the efforts to be the BEST for the other one should be directed INWARDS.

4) Your right time is not about Seema Aunty's 'right time' :P 

Marriage is not a race and the one who gets married first probably won't be given a medal. It is not about being early or getting late. We all have our timelines and they are DIFFERENT. We shall be at peace when we realize that we can only think about what's in our circle of influence.

5) Horoscope matching is not insurance coverage for a marriage :P 

Matching it or not matching it, either of it shall not determine the success of a marriage but the two individuals involved do. Marriage or any relationship is a constant effort and the effort needs to be from both sides. One person can contribute less sometimes and the other one has to make up for it and sometimes it is the other way around. Maintaining the balance is not anyone else's duty but of the two people involved. 

6) The end is a new beginning 

Change is the only thing that is CONSTANT which is a biggest cliche these days fits appropriately everywhere. After all these when we finally decide in and say 'Yes' to a marriage, it is not gonna be about,  'This is it...!! This is how it is going to be." With time, with circumstances, with life lessons everything may change. With time, your life partner can change, you may change, your belief systems may change, habits can change and even characters can change. When life is a journey, nothing shall be constant.        

There is so much to write about this and this topic is never ending and ever evolving. But I loved sharing these thoughts which I firmly believe in. 

Let me know what you feel :) 

Much Love,

Naveen Nagaraj

A year already to our dream...!!

                 As I write this post today, I feel blessed and it fills me with joy that a dream that we four friends saw together sometime back has seen the light of the day and the baby is a year old already today. April 6th 2019, on the auspicious day of Ugadi, we launched our firm and told that we have commenced our operations. A year later, this is not just a dream that is confined to the four of us but a dream that has become a part of nine of us. Something that started as a leap of faith is now taking its baby steps and slowly steering ahead. 

              Entrepreneurship is a journey into the unknown and every day is new, exciting and just leaves you hanging with the hope that something better is awaiting you. No day has been the same since we started this journey. There are some days where we are down, tired in anticipation, disappointed and then there are days where we are fully charged up, excited about something about to happen and cannot stop counting how blessed we are. One thing we have realized as a team is to not force an outcome onto something. If something happens, let it and if something doesn't happen there must be a higher purpose for the same. 

               The biggest challenge for any entity in their year zero is to find its first team, to get people on board who believe you and the idea, people who are ready to risk and take a leap of faith with YOU. Whatever is the idea, it could never reach its intended purpose if the team does not really care about the organization's 'Why?' Our idea has always been to build a workplace where the team comes in to the office excited, goes back home fulfilled and work with a clear vision of 'being concerned' and we aspire to build such a work space. 

                   With this post, we thank our initial clients who believed in us and trusted us with their requirements. We thank the wonderful team we are blessed to have with us who inspire us to aspire more. We also thank everyone who have just wished us good and have helped us keep our morale up including our families, friends, well-wishers etc. As we enter into another year of unknown, I must say we are eagerly waiting to see the path that would unfold in front of us... 

Gratitude and love,

Naveen Nagaraj 

Women's Day 2020

Something that will make you smile as soon as you read this:

Dear Women, 

It is something that we men always forget doing, something that we have missed from times immemorial, something that we take it for granted and something that you no longer expect: A thank you with a gratitude... 

For the roles you play in our life or say in the universe, will just a 'thank you' do? A cute little baby, a friend, a classmate, a cousin, a supportive colleague, a best friend, a sister, a spouse, a working women, a homemaker, a mother, a grandmother and it still does not end there. As if born to multi task, when you can handle so many things at once with ease and leave us in awe, we still do not acknowledge that fact thinking you are just discharging your responsibilities on yet another day. 

As a mother when you had dedicated your life to us, maybe we had forgotten that you were once a young lady and you had dreams in life too. But you had taken a U-turn from a dream life of yours and chose to take care of me instead. As a wife, when you once came in to offer your suggestions for the business, we did not really take it seriously ignoring the fact that you were once a topper and had an entrepreneur in you who got burried later. When you left your family after marriage and came home, we did not take it very seriously thinking it was your duty & societal norms to do so.

Why should we tell you a thank you? Is it for being that crush who made our life beautiful? Is it for being that English teacher who made life beautiful with stories in an otherwise boring school? Is it for being that one and only mom who thinks 24/7 only about our family? Is it for being that ungettable girl who showed us  void in our life? Is it for being that cute grandma telling stories of 1960's? Is it for being that always bankable best friend who would bring us back to track? Is it for being that colleague who helped us with SAP before getting fired? Is it for being the wife who understands everything that was spoken in the way she wants? :P

Yes!! We are sometimes insensitive by not acknowledging things in the regular way but we do it in a way so subtle that you may never get it. When we tell you, "Mom, do not cook today. It's a Sunday. Let's go out" we care for you. When we tell you, "Text me when you reach back home" we care for you. When we tell you, "I pity your husband. I am sure he will not be able to tolerate you even for two days" we care for you. When we tell you, "Don't walk down home. It's already late. I will pick you from busstop" we care for you. When we tell you, "I hate you. Don't talk to me" we care for you. But we don't tell that maybe. 

As we move forward and understand women empowerment is the talk of the town, we believe there is nothing that you are incapable of. Sometimes the empowerment can be scary especially when it pushes you to extents wherein you start feeling we are so independent now that we can live without men. When that happens there will be a huge disconnect and we may stop believing that we are humans first and again go back to the same root problem from where it started. 

As we end this letter, we just want to reiterate the fact that you are special and you will stay loved and respected. A formal Thank you...

Love, 

Men.

My 10 Years Challenge

What a decade can actually do? Much more than what we can even think of maybe. My 10 years challenge would bring out two different people in contrast maybe. Years back, I was very shy, very less confident, quite inferior about myself and extremely submissive. I still remember the beginning of PU days where walking into the class was quite a thing as I was so less confident about myself and all the eyes will usually be on people entering the class. My dressing sense was really poor back then. Maybe I used to say 'yes' to people only because I didn't want to disappoint them. I was a topper all through and to be frank, I was not really proud of it 'so much' because I knew just academic accomplishments isn't my real thing. I used to never share about these inner conflicts with even the close ones because they were mine alone and for everyone else I was still a very happy-go-lucky guy who had got lucky with life. 

Slowly things started changing during my University days in Christ where I started giving more presentations. Somehow these things really help you gain some confidence. With time I started working on myself. With time, I enjoyed being called on to the stage and enjoyed getting the attention. I learnt saying 'No', I started taking more initiatives, grabbed every opportunity to go on stage, made more meaningful relationships and started loving myself more with time. It wasn't easy and it didn't happen quickly. 

Now, fast forward to this day in 2020, I love the person I see on mirror everyday and I am happy that I have come a long way overcoming my inner fears and battling my own inferiority complexes. My confidence level has increased to a level I am proud of. I still have a long way to go and lot of shortcomings to overcome but I so love this journey of going within. Loving oneself is primary before one could even share it with another person. Self love is the most important aspect of fighting inner battles and healing. It's important to appreciate our journey and accept ourself first with all our flaws. This post is my 10 years challenge 😁. I can't wait to see what this decade has got to surprise me with. Let the path unfold for itself 🙈