Friendship Day Musings

Just look back at your own life...

We have had friends at every stage of life. We hold onto the ones who were comforting at each stage. Starting from our school, college, tuition classes, neighbours, common friends, online friends, we feel comfort in various people whom we call friends, close friends, best friends and so on. We share a part of our life, dreams, goals, happiness and sorrow with them. 

At each of these new phases, we grow internally and our thought process keeps changing with time. With every such new phase, there will be a change. Sometimes you lose touch with the ones who you have always been around, sometimes your friends feel you have changed, sometimes you feel you don't fit in to the gang anymore, sometimes each of you realise that you are looking at life very differently, sometimes you drift away, sometimes you are aliented and maybe with time, you don't talk to each other anymore.

Does it mean it was a mistake and the friendship has no value? No way. These were the same people who comforted us at different points in time in our life and the ones we shared a part of our life with. We may not talk anymore or share stories from our everyday life but that doesn't mean anything negative. Sometimes our role in a friendship could be to stay away and look at the other person's life, just wishing them good. 

With all this, you still have few people whom you can call even after a year without any contact and you still start from where you had spoken last time. There are some people who stay with you in all ups and downs like a family. There are some people whom you think of whenever you have something to share, either happiness or sorrows. There are some people who put in that effort to be with you(and you must do too). There are some people whom you always prefer as your comfort in all weathers and all years to come. These are the ones who would stay. 

We need to realise that in every phase of growth, people do change and change is important. Friendship is about helping the other person stay authentic and themselves without a need to change or hold back. Friendship is not about fitting in, it is being free without any judgements. Friendship is being for each other when they need you the most. In order to find good friends, we need to be 'that good friend.'

It is important to treasure every friendships. Some might chose to stay afar and be happy for you, some might be with you in every milestone but everyone had played a role in your life till date. This one is for everyone who has played their role in mine. Happy Friendship day :)

Meditation

Today, I wanted to share something personal with a hope that it could help someone.

A year before, same time my mind was a battlefield of thoughts and emotions...

A year later now, I am a much calmer and a peaceful individual who knows what to feed the mind and what not to.

What helped in this process of being more mindful and calmer is #meditationpractice .

Being an over thinker always, it has always been difficult to not get too involved in something. A lot of self evaluation by going deeper down has helped me process my thoughts better.

Now when I face a challenging situation, I just ask myself this one question:
👉Is this under my control? If yes, what can I do about it? If no, why do I have to think about this? Let me surrender it to the Universe.

Being an overthinker, earlier my mind would think of multiple negative possibilities even before it happening. Now I try and think what's the worst possible thing that could happen and try and make peace with it (Zerodha's Nithin Kamath's strategy)

Once you make peace with the outcomes in your mind, you are better off to face real challenges when it happens in the physical world. Conquering mind is the challenge always.

Meditation has helped me process things slowly, be an ever grateful human being, more mindful in my duties and responsibilities and even worry lesser.

My intentions at work has been strengthened in this process and I find more solutions to business problems because I am in a position to think and not get swayed away without time.

Every day before starting my day, I visualize how my day could be, what all new opportunities can come in, how do I better my intentions at work, how do we add more value to clients, what do I intend to attract more and more etc.

Just the thoughts in the right direction creates the motion required from Universe is what I believe.

I hope this helps someone who is looking for some light in difficult times. Hold on and continue to hope :)

#meditation #life

Two years to the first time we met :)

All my life, I had my thoughts on the kind of relationship I want to be in and the person I want to share my life with. In the search for such a person in an arranged marriage scenario, I was quite clear on whom I did not want. Knowing what you do not want is the first step in meeting whom you really want to spend life with. 

I had my notions in an arranged marriage that I would need to really meet the person multiple times to take things forward. I had said it to a few people I was talking to in the process, that I will need a lot of time to be really 'sure.' All these changed miraculously when I met Ashika. April 3rd, 2021 we started texting and April 10th we met for the first time. The first meet was so peaceful and beautiful. The first date went on for 4.5 hours and by the end of it, something had changed. 

She had made up her mind after that date. I took some more time bugging her, asking her the right questions, discussing on the non negotiables, talking over weekend for 6 hours straight and smiling all through texting her from office. We did not meet again. It was the second wave of COVID and more importantly there was no need to meet again. The decision was made. I proposed to her on May 9th, 2021.  The next time we met was on the day our parents met to discuss about the marriage. 

So when the right person comes in, a lot of things change. We met just once before saying yes and that one date did it all. 

Two years to the first time we met :)